After almost a year and a half hiatus I am back to document life, now for slightly different reasons. When here before I was a busy household hiding here for comfort now and again (who am I kidding? I was addicted for more than a minute.) I return, a grandmother who in a whirlwind, drastically changed life for the good and is intent on sharing the stories.
The change was domestic, social, geographic and mind altering.
Divorced and in a new relationship, I now LIVE!
It was intiated by simple words...."Life doesn't have to be so hard." These words, at first whispered were eventually written in stone. The phrase insisted on possibilities that had seemed lost. It suddenly seemed possible to change my reality. As a student of Jonathan Livingston I was determined to question my boundaries.
Since MiniMe was living her life between full time school, work and parenting classes and young daredevil was spending all free weekends with his gf, I had much time on my hands. I tired of being THE ROCK. I tired of spinning my wheels emotionally and financially and finally asked myself did "In sickness and In health" include MENTAL health. Just short of a commital (mine or his), I chose divorce. Hard and fast, had pussyfooted around for too long. Raising my children in a longterm rented country home, i truly had no ties and up and moved out a month after my last post here. I relocated a little over an hour south, coming home to farmland and big water within earshot.
I have made many memories in this short time. Gbaby will be ONE YEAR OLD this coming Wed.
I shot my first deer this past Thanksgiving morning, a three point thankyaverymuch.
I have seen rabbits bagged and pulled monster catfish from the river. Who thought I could ever enjoy dove hunting as I have hand raised several types of birds? Conflict was resolved by wrapping in bacon and grilling til done.
The vegetable garden from my childhood came to life as did flower beds and herbs.
Still can't wipe the smile off of my face.
Every day is an adventure even the days 5/7 that i drive the hour north to work. The route is beautiful, I am a reincarnated farmer. I encounter the Bee people a time or two as they maintained hives for massive pollenation efforts. The symmetry of the fields and their constant changing colors soothes me and I usually arrive home completely decompressed from the day.
Those days. They haven't changed much, relaxed slightly but still same old politics that I won't play so I avoid and am avoided, pretty much left to do my job. Yay.
I am back to leave treasures for Gbaby by sharing the fun and hard work that is my life now.
I will return to detail some highlights of this experience, from the childrens' "How can you leave OUR home?" to the six month move out of the monster schoolhouse to the drastic change in environment or how I turned the focus from pushing everyone else to do their best to demand more FOR myself.